Road Dog/Homebody
The Gratitude List #36
What’s happening right now: I’m sitting at a table in my backyard, drinking coffee from one of the many KCRW mugs I own. I got back from the road on Monday morning, on a transcontinental flight with six babies and one cat. And now, basking in the twilight of the year, in the hang time between holidays and vacations where the Industry checks out because it’s too hard to focus in the gloaming. I’m reflecting on what just happened and what comes next.
What just happened: I did three shows in the South – two WRONG! shows, one night of headlining – that went well. I went to Dollywood, played Hillbilly Golf, and stayed overnight in a “business-oriented” Margaritaville hotel. I ate a lot of “bad” food and feel less-than-ideal about my body. I saw more right-wing merch than I ever have in my entire life, the “Trump is God and Charlie Kirk is Jesus” sentiment having completely taken over the souvenir shops that used to just sell novelty t-shirts that told everyone you were a loud, horny alcoholic. I saw my show’s name on the marquee at Zanies in Nashville. I ate Cook Out at 11:30 PM while watching Game Show Network, lamenting the terrible answers given by Family Feud contestants. And, upon returning, I went to an open mic in a garage, and hung out at the Improv to fire off a couple of roast jokes at The Jump-Off Show and see some friends after being surrounded mostly by strangers for the whole week.
What comes next: Thanksgiving. Three more WRONG! shows to wrap up the year. Preparing to relocate to Toronto for 3 months for work (read: shopping for long underwear on Black Friday). Uncautious optimism. Renewed vigor. Revised jokes. Trying to lose the 5 pounds I put on while on the road, then the 5 pounds I gained before that.
What else is on my mind: there have been many pieces of media I’ve loved lately – Bugonia, Pluribus, The Telepathy Tapes season two – but nothing has stuck with me more than this post from the great Laurie Kilmartin.
I couldn’t agree with her more. To me, the goal of comedy, above all, is to entertain. As stand-ups, that means learning to tell jokes that hit the overlap between what you think is funny and what the audience thinks is funny. Chase the audience too much, and you dive into pandering and hackiness. Chase yourself too much, and you’re just doing monologues. The biggest service you can do yourself is figuring out how to get people you don’t know to like you, to laugh with you, to begrudgingly agree with you.
This is why I think it’s so important to leave your home scene and your comfort zones as much as possible. Hit the road. Add new mics to your rotation. Go to the places where the people don’t look like you or think like you. You can find a way to entertain anyone, and you can do it without sacrificing the values you hold dear. In fact, you will learn just as much about yourself as you do about these strangers. Maybe even more.
What doing the road and not just sticking to my favorite rooms has taught me: truly, people are not that different. We’re all just reacting to a world that seems designed to make us feel more afraid and ashamed than we already are, engaging with things that trickle happiness out in drops like hamster cage water bottles. We’re worried about being liked, we’re anxious about how we’re spending our time. We’re trying to avoid setting unrealistic expectations, and we’re usually failing.
I had a guy show up to WRONG! on Saturday night in Asheville who, when we gave him an “InfoWars Is Essential” t-shirt that we found at a Pigeon Forge thrift store as a prize, shouted “I’ve already got one!” Am I trying to convert that guy to believe what I believe? No. Am I going to try and make him laugh anyway? Yes. And thanks to years spent performing for strangers, I know how to do that without compromising my values or sacrificing parts of myself.
I’ve been doing another 4th Step, which has made me think a lot about expectations. Specifically: how I create unreasonable expectations on how people will behave for pretty much everyone in my life, including me. These, as it turns out, are not helpful! So, an addendum to what comes next: to nip expectations in the bud. To always seek being in the present, on stage and off. To continue to have gratitude for the life I have constructed for myself. To continue having faith in the path I choose to walk. And, of course, to not think my jokes will improve if I don’t do anything to revise them.
WHAT ELSE?
Next month is my last month in the U.S. for a hot second! I’ll be leaving to work in Toronto at the beginning of January. Until then, you can find me:
doing shows in Los Angeles, Dallas, Southern Oregon, San Diego and more - full show calendar is here
getting ready to host my comedy game show WRONG! all over the place, including at the Ashland Sarcasm Festival in Oregon on December 5th, at the Comedy Store in LA on December 10th, and at Mic Drop in Phoenix, AZ on December 17th. Get your tickets early, please!
Not caught up on the latest from WRONG! yet? Watch our newest episode here:
Oh! And if you haven’t taken the reader survey yet, please do! I’ve got some ideas bubbling about directions I’d like to take the newsletter next year and your feedback is greatly appreciated. Click here to fill it out.
Until next time, thanks for reading, I’m glad you’re here!